Surround Yourself With the Things You Love

I love it when I start to think about something---really think about it--God throws reassurances in my path to gobble up. Like Hansel and Gretl, but without being almost cooked and eaten in the end. ANYWAY--that has absolutely nothing with what I'm going to write about but...I had to share. Because the God part is sorta connected. The cannibalism is not.

Okay, now that's we've got that settled, let's put on our serious faces and get down to business.

I saw a decorative wooden sign recently that said: Surround Yourself With the Things You Love. And I thought to myself, I should buy that sign, to remind myself of that. And then I had to laugh at myself because that's my problem. I love too many things! So I have to buy myself a sign to remind myself to only bring in to my house that which I love the most...and I don't really love that sign...so it would be counter intuitive. Oh, sigh...oh, me.

But instead I committed that little phrase to memory and I am capturing it for time immemorial on this blog. I have a lot of stuff. I always have. My brother and I were the long awaited grandchildren, the much hoped for next generation. So when we came along, there was a load of 'stuff' waiting for us upon arrival. Our whole lives we've been given and collecting things. My brother doesn't seem to have the same addiction for sentimental stuff that I have but nonetheless, he hasn't been able to completely escape the STUFF!

So as a child, my room was always filled to capacity. Then when we started all the moves from apartment to apartment it got boxed up for 'someday'. Well, getting married and have a whole house to decorate seemed like 'someday' had arrived. Except that...there was more stuff on top of the original stuff. And we got wedding stuff. And Curtis has stuff...albeit not very much stuff, not like me. And our house is just stuffed with stuff already. And we don't even have kids yet.

I feel claustrophobic just thinking about it. And the clutter is out of control. I think I'm secretly running a Clutter Factory and someday the Clutter Elves will bring me a fat paycheck for manufacturing so much clutter. There's clutter on every flat surface...the kitchen, the dining room, the living room, the computer room, the bathroom, the bedroom! CLUTTER, CLUTTER EVERYWHERE, and not a drop to drink...or something.

Frankly, I can't take it anymore!!!!!!!! So I'm trying to de-stuff and de-clutter the house. I've read many magazine articles and searched for tips online. I've tried several methods and plans in my battle against stuff and clutter. But the problem is--what works for someone else, Martha Stewart, my mom, whoever--might not work for me. The solution to stuff and clutter is apparently not one-size-fits-all.

So I'm overhauling my views about my house. Shifting my paradigms of housekeeping. For example, we have a ridiculously small closet in our bedroom. Ridiculously. Small. So my dresses and skirts have been relegated to the Nursery closet (so named because someday that room will be a nursery) and the Guest Room closet. So whenever I wear a skirt or dress I have to go all the way to another room to get it out and put it away. Now, really, this isn't that big a deal but clearly, it's not working for me. My skirts and dresses end up draped over the balcony railing above the dining room. After months of this behavior I realized--it's broken, fix it! I went through all our clothes and filled a huge garbage full of items we just don't wear. Or don't need. My husband had 3 blue long sleeve dress shirts, almost exactly the same. Really? And then I moved all my skirts into the closet. My next step is to try on all my dresses and donate what doesn't fit anymore along with all that other stuff. De-stuff which leads to de-clutter. Love it.

I'm looking around my house and trying to see why there's clutter. The answer is because there's too much stuff. So by eliminating the stuff, there's room to put the clutter away. Thus far I haven't spent a dime but I've managed to empty one large storage bin and two or three smaller boxes. It feels good to purge the house and elimintate the things we don't need or don't really and truly love. Life is too short to fill it with a bunch of stuff I don't love and have to dust around.

And my goal isn't perfection (gasp!). It's to make our house a home. Gee, I've said that before, haven't I? Ann Voskamp' s blog today speaks to this very idea. A 'perfect' home is not a perfect home. Museum quality cleanliness isn't warm and cozy. But neither is clutter and stuff oozing from every closet, nook, and cranny.

And remember how I started this post with God throwing out the crumbs? Well, the aforementioned blog is one of them. So is this blog which my mom sent me. Another is the following verse which I read last night:

Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.--Matthew 6:19-21

So what matters to me most? Having a bunch of stuff because it brings back a memory or I just 'had to have it'? Or emptying out so I can be filled up with things I love? Because my house is like my heart. I can hold on to the stuff I've always had or always wanted, or I can let God fill it with His gifts.

So...go clean out a closet or something! Or read Hansel and Gretl and think about how messed up children's stories used to be. Seriously.

Domestically Challenged

Domesticity doesn't come easy for me. I think some people, some women particularly, are hardwired for homemaking. They have a natural knack for arranging things just right and an enthusiasm for seeing a cake turn out perfectly. Me? My house tends to look like an antique store with all my collections fighting for space. My cakes turn out just fine until I try to frost them. That part always ends with me very upset--either yelling or near tears--insisting that it looks ridiculous and my husband saying things like, its just going to be eaten anyway. Bless his heart.

No, I've had to trick myself into embracing this domesticity stuff. I appreciate the idea of it. I long for a well kept house where everything has a place and is in its place. I would love to be a good cook whipping up delicious dinners and yummy desserts. Its just...remember that clumsiness I mentioned in my other post? Well, I'm a domestic klutz as well. Like I said, I can't even frost a cake without it turning into a small confectionary diaster. I was mopping the dining room floor with Mop & Glo and inadvertantly squirted it on the wall of our peninsula (like an island but attached to the wall...like a bar that's too tall for stools). And by the way, Mop & Glo will leave a mark on the wall. And then...months later, I did it again. When I clean our shower I always end up soaking wet. It's a miracle I haven't turned all our underwear pink (knock on wood!!!).

But I'm learning the benefit of rising above myself. Practice may not ever make perfect for me but it is improving my domestic skills. I finally just got tired of wanting the well-ordered home but not doing a thing about it. As if merely desiring something is enough...does this remind you of my first post? The whole wanting a merry heart and believing that wanting it was enough to make it happen? The same is true with my home. It will never be a real home, the home that I want to give myself and my husband, if I do nothing more than just think about it.

I get trapped into that frequently---thinking not doing. I realized just before graduating from BGSU that I am a perfectionist, and its that deisre that keeps me from acting. It's better to do nothing than to not do it perfectly, or at least really, really well. It's a debilitating way of life. I over-think and over-analyze and over-plan until I'm paralyzed to take action. This kept me from studying abroad, it made wedding planning an absolute nightmare instead of a joy, and it keeps me from making our house into a haven from the world.

But no more! It is not enough to merely know these things. It is good to be self-aware...it helps a lot when I'm seeking to be a better me. But just having the realization is only part. I can't just talk, or complain, or plan--although I excel at all three things. I have to do that which I do not excel at--do. I have to actually do something. I have to actually put the clean clothes away after I've washed them. I have to vacuum the living room floor if I don't want to look at puffs of fur. These are obvious things and I know that...but I don't do them routinely. I make them into Herculean tasks as if I should be awarded for washing some dishes.

No...enough is enough, Rebecca. If you want to be domestic (and I do!) then you have to choose it. Isn't that the same with everything? If you want joy, you must choose it instead of negativity. If you want peace, you must choose it rather than bitterness. If you want love, you must choose it instead of fear. If you want a well-ordered home, you must choose to take action rather than expecting some magical fairy to come in and do it for you. Although, magical fairy, if you're reading this, please feel free to drop by anytime!

So anyway, when I sat down to write this I intended it to be a list of tips that I've found to help me stay motivated to keep my house a home and not just a place for all our stuff. But you know me, I have to tell a story with everything.

1) Rock out: A friend of mine many years ago told me she likes the Bee Gees because her mother used to listen to them when she would clean. I always liked that idea. Putting on a favorite band, something really fun, to listen to while doing housework. Today I listened to Josh Wilson while doing dishes and cleaning my carpet. Before I knew it I'd listent to the whole playlist two or three times.

2)Pick Up 5 Things: This is actually a mom tip. When I was a kid (or teenager...or now...) and it was time to clean up, I would inevitably feel over-whelmed and want to use that as a cop out. My mom would say, start with five things. And invariably that would lead to five more things and five more things and before long it would be done. This can be modified to setting a time for ten minutes or the length of a favorite song.

3)Do that 'one thing' before bed: Clutter makes me nutty but since I can't possibly keep all of our rooms de-cluttered all of the time, I've decided there are two rooms of priority. One being the kitchen and the other the living room. So my 'one thing' before bed is to put all the dogs toys away (it's similar to having a toddler, only they can't talk...and will never learn to pick up after themselves), take any dishes to the kitchen, and just tidy things up. The next day then getting the kitchen back in order can be my priority.

That's really it for now. A couple years ago I had a housecleaning checklist that did wonders for me but it doesn't seem to work anymore. I must've gotten past my list phase. What are some of your tips or routines to keep your house/apartment/living area not just livable but a home? I could really use the motivation of some fresh ideas!