My Sneaky, Clever gods

At any point in my life if you'd asked me if I had any gods other than the one true God I would've scoffed and insisted it wasn't true. Couldn't possibly be true. The idea of me worshipping any other god than God the Father, The Alpha and Omega, the Ancient of Days, the Morning Star, Adonai.... I was raised a good Christian girl and I know that it would be unthinkable to worship anyone other than Him.

But lately my eyes have been opened. The eyes of my heart, that is. I'm seeing for the first time what idolatry in the 21st century really is. Not the worshipping of gods made of wood and stone, gods that cannot even stand up by themselves, as God so often points out through His Old Testament prophets. This is a far sneakier god, a cleverer god than one made of wood or stone. Our modern idols.

If you asked me in Sunday School, even just a few weeks ago, what kinds of idols people put before God now, I could've given you an answer. My self-righteous finger could've pointed to fame and fortune, celebrities and money. Jobs. Careers. Kids. Spouses. All those things. Of course, we all know that when you point at someone else there are three fingers pointing right back at you. Three fingers pointing to the three idols in my own heart. Three idols that have snuck in cleverly disguised, like wolves in sheeps' clothing. Three idols escaping my notice, or being well-defended by my ready excuses. Three idols that were stripped bare last night by the one true God.

1. The idol of emotions.

2. The idol of comfort.

3. The idol of my dreams.

None of these things in and of themselves are sinful, it is only when they bully and push Jesus out of the reigning place of my heart. How cleverly they push and shove, inch and move until they've taken His place and gobbled up all the joy and peace He's given. My heart is left with nothing but the chicken bones after my idols have devoured all the goodness Jesus had brought into my life.

I'm learning that anything which comes before Jesus, anything which controls me instead of the Spirit, anything that I value before God is, in fact, an idol. I'm worshipping my comfort when I tell God that I won't do what He's asked, or when I won't sacrifice a bit of sleep to meet with Him. I'm worshipping my dreams when I insist that my plans are my only option and I refuse to give them to Him. I'm worshipping my emotions when I allow them to rule unchecked, reeking havoc with my relationships and my personal peace.

Like the sun slowly dawning I finally could see my idols in plain view. God lifted the veil of my own denial to reveal that which my heart truly values. In a moment of humility and honesty I admitted that I do have other gods before Him. Not gods made of wood or stone, but gods constructed of my own self-serving desires. I love my hopes and dreams more than His plans for my life. I want to let my feelings run my life, rather than learning to take each feeling captive so I can be a woman of self-restraint, slow to anger, and quick to forgive. I long for comfort, security, and safety more than following Jesus so closely that I'll be covered in the dust of the Rabbi. It turns out that I'm an idolater, after all. Commandments number one and two may be my greatest struggle, and I never even realized it.

The beautiful promise, however, is that by surrendering my idols to the one true God, He can change them from something sinful to something purposeful. Because having emotions, having dreams, and desiring comfort are all natural things. Each one is part of the human experience and part of the way God designed us. But it is only when I've refused to allow them to have greater importance in my life than Jesus that I can experience them as they were intended.

With God at the helm my emotions will no longer control me. He will teach me how to feel deeply and fully, but not be consumed by unhealthy feelings. How I feel won't dictate how much faith I have or how much I can love someone. My feelings can be taken captive, questioned and tried, and then dealt with accordingly. But only if God is in control. With God on the throne my definition of comfort will change. The coziness of a warm bed won't compare to the coziness of His arms as I learn to give up my creature comforts for time with Him. With God in charge my dreams will change. Some will be given up in place of new ones, better ones. Some will alter in how or why I want to see them fulfilled. Some will expand to include God-given plans. Some will no doubt come to fruition with God doing the growing. The reality is my dreams' only hope of survival is to let God take over.

The only way to annihilate an idol is to tear it down, break it up, and grind it into dust as Moses did at the base of Mount Sinai. Obliterate it so it cannot control me. Wage war on these sneaky, clever idols through prayer and reading God's word.

Humble prayer, the pouring out of my brokenness will give God the opportunity to exercise His power in my life. I have to remain in this place of honesty, and I must not rely on myself to do this change in me. I have to stay grounded in the Word, digging deep and soaking up its' truth in order to recognize and take down false idols in my life.  It is hard work, this heart-cleaning and idol destruction. I believe God is the only one who can really do the demolition, but I have to do the work of stay committed to the project.

But I now know there is idol worship in the 21st century. Idol worship in my own heart here in this modern era. I thought I was on track, I truly believed I had no other gods before the Lord my God. But I was wrong. Essentially, I put self before Him. By allowing my feelings, my plans, and my comfort to have dominance in my heart, I allowed God to be crowded out. So now for the hard work of casting out my idols, of abolishing my desire for the creature comforts of this world in place of His security and peace.

To get started in the obliteration of my idolatry I've looked up some verses about idols, and some of my specific struggles. And my prayer is the God is able to make me aware of me ever-aware of my value system so that He is always in the utmost place in my life.

Verses To Break the Bondage of Idols

Do not turn away after useless idols. They can do you no good, nor can they rescue you, because they are useless.~ 1 Samuel 12:21I hate those who cling to worthless idols; as for me, I trust in the LORD~ Psalm 31:6

Dear children, keep yourselves from idols. ~ 1 John 5:21

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols~ Ezekiel 36:25

Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them.~ Jonah 2:8

Verses Concerning the Making of Plans and the Plans of the Creator

But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations. ~ Psalm 33:11

Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. ~ Proverbs 16:3

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails~ Proverbs 19:21

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.~ Jeremiah 29:11

Verses Concerning Self-Control and A Godly Spirit

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.~ 1 Peter 3:3-5

Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. ~ Proverbs 16:32

Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control~ Proverbs 25:28

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. ~ Titus 1:8

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.~ Galatians 5:22-23

A Cranky Dog and a Tummy Ache

I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with Bode today. He snapped at Shiloh when he came over to sniff the teddy bear Bode was cuddling with. He growled at me when I rubbed his tummy--twice. And he's piddled on our carpet twice today, we think out of fear...but he'd made some major strides on this so it's unusual. I can't figure out what's bothering him. He's eating and drinking normally, and sometimes he seems like his usual playful self. He does have a scrape on his back left leg that he won't let me look at. But he's not limping, favoring that leg, or licking it so I don't think it's bothering him that much. I really can't figure out what's going on today.

His reactions got me thinking about how I react when I'm not feeling well. Like today. My tummy has been upset today, and the dogs woke me up early, so I'm not in the best of moods. I find myself snapping at Curtis over incredibly inane things (like the printer being out of ink) and being really annoyed at not getting my way. I've reverted to the disposition of a cranky two year old. Brilliant.

I'm sympathetic that Bode seems to not be feeling well, but I don't appreciate his growling at me and snapping at me. I'm trying to help him and he won't let me. But I'm doing the same thing. I don't feel good so I'm snarling and snapping, feeling annoyed and irritable. Bode's a dog so I don't suppose he'll ever learn to behave otherwise, and I'm not sure it would be fair for me to expect him to. However, I'm a human and I have to learn to rise above myself sometimes.

I read an interesting article on 'emotional sobriety' a couple days ago. The concept being that emotions are something that can be managed, much like an addiction, so that it no longer controls you. It's not so much about turning off emotions and not let anything ruffle your feathers, as much as learning how to cope with having your feathers ruffled. And my goodness, do I need help with my ruffly feathers.

Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.--Proverbs 25:28

The imagery there is very powerful. Imagine how it used to be--in the old country--it doesn't have to be as far back as Solomon's time, think back to images of medieval Europe. We've all seen a Robin Hood movie or two. Imagine how the city was surrounded with a tall, impenetrable wall, always guarded, always well-defended, protecting the inhabitants inside. And the people who lived outside the city, and thus the city wall, would always rush inside in times of trouble. The city walls provided safety and security in otherwise perilous situations.

And, so it would seem, self-control serves the same purpose. It guards my emotions from being overtaken by outsiders. I have a choice to either defend my city--my heart, my mind, my relationships--by keeping my wall of self-control well armed, or I can allow my wall to be broken through.

I don't think self-control is a choice, as much as a lifestyle. Like patience and joy, it's not something I can ask God for and simply be uploaded with. It's not an app for my heart. Self-control has to be learned, and can only be learned in a moments when I would normally go haywire. Like today. I have a choice right now to turn around today by choosing self-control, or I can allow my city to be ransacked by unchecked emotions.

I think it is harder to make positive choices when I'm not taking care of myself by eating right and getting enough rest and things like that. The most important thing is whether or not I'm nourishing my soul with daily helpings for the Word and concentrated time in prayer.

I have to tell you...I took a break in the midst of writing this post. Curtis needed the computer. So I decided to take some time to read my Bible. I'm working on  Lent reading plan of the gospels, and so I had to finish up Matthew today. I feel centered now having spent some time studying the Bible and reading about Jesus. It's amazing how I always feel so nurtured and nourished after getting with God.

And in the middle of my Bible study, my stomach stopped hurting and I actually got hungry. I haven't been truly hungry in several days, I've just been eating because I have to. Then, when I finished Matthew, I decided to try to check Bode one more time to see if I can figure out what's wrong. He growled at me at first when I tried to look at his leg but I gave him some space to calm down so he came back and laid down. I rubbed his tummy (what dog can resist a tummy rub?) and told him he was good, and then I carefully picked up his back left leg. He didn't even twitch or 'grrrr'. Good news is his leg is almost healed so I honestly think he was just tired. He slept while I was reading and he seems to be feeling better.

Funny how that works, huh?