Friday, June 10, 2011

Before It's Too Late (the love edition)

Our Sunday School class is currently doing a series on the Song of Solomon. This seems to be one of those books that people skip but it's one of my favorites. I started reading it a few years ago...must've been around 2004. It's my go-to book when I don't know what else to read. It's a bit of a puzzle trying to sort out all those ancient Israelite metaphors. When I read it to find out how passionately God loves me I am always comforted. When I read it to find out how it is I am to love my husband I always find direction.

This is a great series about dating, relationships, and marriage. One comment the speaker/teacher, Tommy Nelson, made sparked some conversation between myself and my married friends. Tommy Nelson encourages husbands to keep their wives emotionally well nourished by giving compliments, listening, etc. The comment was made that a person can't do that everyday because it gets taken for granted or loses its meaning. Initially I agreed. Then I did some dishes. I always start thinking when I do dishes, especially if I haven't turned any loud music on.

So whilst I was washing my dishes I wondered what a person who had just lost their spouse would say to that? Would they agree? Or would they wish that they had told their spouse more often how much they loved them, what they loved about them?

Which led me to this thought: what if today was the last day I had with my husband and today I didn't tell him I loved him, or that he was a good husband, or that I appreciate his hard work? And while some might say that it is extreme or dramatic to live your life that way...I have to listen to my friends and relatives that have experienced devestating loss.

When I was in high school a dear friend of mine lost his father to a sudden heart attack. They'd had an argument that morning about something, and then his father had a massive heart attack and died before the ambulance even arrived. He never could take back the words he said, he never had the chance to communicate love one more time. And while we're all certain that his father knew that he loved him, no one wants angry words to be the last things said to a loved one.

This is why I won't leave the house without telling Curtis that I love him. I won't leave the house angry, no matter how infuriated I feel. I know that whatever is going on in that moment is less important than the love I have for my husband, and his knowledge of that love. I refuse to get to the end of my life, or his, and have to admit that I should've said it more.

Along similar lines, this is why I tell my friends and my family what they mean to me. It makes me the sentimental cheesy one but I just can't help it. I think it is important to tell people they are loved and why they are loved, what difference they have made in your life, while they're still here on Earth to hear it. Eulogies at funerals make no sense to me. Shouldn't all that stuff have been said before death? While it is good to remember and to reflect, isn't it better to share that love before it's too late??

So, true, it may get old, it may 'lose it's meaning', it may be taken for granted, but I believe it is important to communicate love, appreciation, tenderness, respect for the ones I love as often as possible. I'd rather be a little cheesy, or a little compulsive, than to leave someone wondering if they were loved.

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