In the Story of Our Lives Together I want the theme to be love expressed through friendship, grace, and forgiveness. I want the next generation, our own someday children and our nieces and nephews, to read in us not a story of pride but a story of humility.
It's hard when differences and disagreements arise. I'm not surprised by their presence in our marriage. Every married couple has differences which lead to disagreements. And what story doesn't have a conflict? Especially a story unfolding across a lifetime together? There will be conflicts, hurt feelings, and frustration. What matters is how we handle it, and in this I can only take my part. I can't decide for Curtis what he needs to do any more than I could make him do it. I can only be responsible for the wife's part. My part.
I'm learning that what God wants me to do is to humble myself, submit to my husband, to not let things get blown out of proportion. I have an obsessive compulsive streak that makes it very hard for me to forfeit control. I want to dictate the best way to do things, instead of simply allowing my husband to do things his way. I find myself getting absurdly frustrated over small things just because it isn't the way I thought it would be or should be done.
The easy thing to do is to make a snarky comment, or a 'simple' suggestion, or to fly off the handle. That takes no effort at all. The harder thing, the right thing, is to remind myself that in the entire story of our lives this moment will be a single line unless I make it something more. It's up to me. I can decided if three chapters get dedicated to the way dishes should be done, or if its simply omitted all together.
If I want our story to be about graciousness and submitting ourselves to one another, then it must start with me. I must learn to pull back, to smother my pride, to laugh at the small things, to choose my words carefully, to let very few disagreements become battles, and let nothing become a war. I must align myself with God, listening carefully to the Spirit, obeying His commands, even if I don't want to or if it's hard.
Then and only then will the story being written be about love.